


“he stands outside my window”

by n0t_bess1e_b4ss_0n_the_b4ss



Category: Six - Marlow/Moss
Genre: Accidental Self Harm, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anne is a good cousin, Aragon is also a mom, F/F, Gaslighting, Graphic Imagery, Guilt, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, It gets better I swear, Jane is a mom, Katherine Howard is aroace, Kitty is not feeling too good, Molestation, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Paranoia, Pedophilia, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape, Sexual Abuse, Sexual Assault, Stalking, Victim Blaming, Vomiting, the word ‘vagina’ is used one (1) time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-07-20
Packaged: 2020-07-09 17:04:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19891312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/n0t_bess1e_b4ss_0n_the_b4ss/pseuds/n0t_bess1e_b4ss_0n_the_b4ss
Summary: It started with a figure out in the backyard. That’s all it took for Katherine to spiral.





	1. Gaslight

The motion sensing light flicking on during the night wasn’t that unusual, but it was when it happened twice. Katherine saw the second burst of radiance faintly through her window and decided to get up and go check what it was. Since the glow only edged around the corner of the house to bleed into her room, she had to go downstairs to check the front yard.

What she found was made her heart leap into her throat.

A little squirrel!

Katherine almost found herself laughing, especially when the little animal tussled around with its tail in the grass, but she made sure to keep quiet, since Cleves’ bedroom was on the ground floor and she didn’t want to wake her up. After the rodent skittered off into the nearby bushes, Katherine also turned to go back to sleep.

She saw It when she entered her bedroom again.

It was standing outside in the grass, only a few feet away from her window. At closer inspection, it wasn’t an “it” at all, but a man.  
His facial features and clothing were unknown because of the darkness, but that was the least concerning thing in that moment. Someone was standing out in the yard, on the property.  
Katherine wanted to go wake up one of the other queens, but her legs wouldn’t move. She was a little frightened, but not too much. No, she was too curious and intrigued to look away from this stranger.

So, slowly, she stepped closer to the window, practically pressing up against the glass to get a better look at him. She squints, quelling the nagging fear in her stomach with more interest.  
The man’s head cranes around and their eyes locked together.

One of Katherine’s feet moved back, while the other remained rooted in place. Parts of her were screaming- she had to wake everyone else up because HELLO there was some dude on their property and there was no way in hell she could take him if he were dangerous.  
But the other part…maybe he was hurt. Maybe he needed help.

Despite her aversion to men, Katherine knew she would want to be aided if she were in his shoes.

Right as she’s going to crack the window open to ask if the man needed something, the motion sensor light flicks on again.

Katherine whirled around and bolts out into the hallway, only to remember she had closed her door. Her forehead smacks against the wood and she totters backwards before collapsing. The world is upside down and blurry, but she can still see Henry Mannox at her window.  
But that was impossible. Her room was on the second floor.

Henry is foaming and drooling at the mouth, scratching at the glass like a starving rabid animal. His eyes are lit up with hunger and lust.  
The last thing Katherine heard was her window sliding open before everything went black.

———

The first thing Katherine does when she wakes up is check her body. There are no fresh bruises or bite marks, all her clothes are still on, and she couldn’t feel any pain in between her thighs, so her anxiety was diminished slightly. She decided to just pass it off as a nightmare or trauma-induced hallucination.

Henry Maddox was dead. That’s what she kept telling herself.

Katherine stood, rubbing the sore spots on her back that formed from sleeping on the floor. She stumbled out of her room, scratching off dried blood that had accumulated from her nose when she smacked into her door. She was quick to wipe it all off before Jane could see and start fussing about her.

“Can I ask a weird question?”

None of the queens had a chance to say “good morning” when Katherine finally came downstairs, immediately speaking up about something.

“Can’t be weirder than Anne asking why normal blood and period blood smell different in the middle of dinner.” Cleves said, shooting the woman in question a look.

“I mean, it just takes a little common sense to know why.” Parr agreed.

“Oh, I knew why,” Anne pipes up, “I just wanted to hear you explain vagina blood.”

“What’s your question, dear?” Jane asked from where she’s standing in the kitchen.

“Were one of you standing outside my window last night?”

Everyone seemed to freeze upon hearing that. They all exchanged looks, turned their gaze to Katherine, who seemed anxious, and then snapped their heads towards Anne.

“I didn’t do anything!” Anne yelped, holding up her hands, “I was asleep! Blame Parr, she’s the one who usually stays up reading all night!”

“Why would I stand outside in the middle of the night?” Parr said, quick to defend herself. “Besides, I went to bed early last night.”

“No need to point fingers,” Aragon speaks up, “That doesn’t sound like something any of us would do. Except Boleyn, but I believe her.”

“Thank you! Wait- HEY!”

“Ah.” Katherine muttered over the chatter.

She awkwardly shuffled into the kitchen to get a plate, trying to avoid the questioning stares she was getting from the other queens. Of course they would think she was a little weird in that moment- who even asked a question like that? It probably sounded really suspicious.

“Must have been a dream, then.” She said a little louder this time to hopefully shake off any concern the other’s held. In fact, she herself was starting to believe it really had been nothing more than a figment of her imagination.

And then she felt the faintest voice right behind her ear and she whirled around, launching her plate of egg at nothing in a terrible defense mechanism.

———

Claw away the darkness.

Katherine tries. She really does. She’s weaker. It’s harder to fight.

Her claws chip and darkness overtakes her.

Katherine is pulled back into a freezing black ocean. Waves battered against her. Salt water stings in open wounds she didn’t even realize she had. Red bubbles explode from her lips and, in return, bloody mouthfuls of sea foam rush down her esophagus.

“…Katherine?”

Over Poseidon’s wrath, she thinks she hears a voice. It’s familiar and the only thing she’s got. She tries to cling to it.

“…Katherine?”

Right, that’s her name. They’re calling out to her. Maybe they’re trying to help?

“…Katherine, sweetheart, are you okay?”

“…Hellooo?”

“…What’s up with her?”

More sound. More talking. Over twenty distant voices babble at once and Katherine is slipping again. She scrabbles and grips and tries to stay on but she’s falling, falling, falling.

Coral scrapes her back raw as the riptide captures her. Red mist filled the water and she convulsively swallowed, choking harder as her lungs fill up with the wrong element. The tang of salt and blood swishes in her mouth.

“…Katherine!”

It feels like a harpoon has just stabbed her through the stomach and she’s wrenched upwards.

Katherine breaches the surface.

She gasped and stumbled backwards, bumping into someone’s reaching arms, which she jerks out of (and would later learn it was Parr trying to steady her). She was having a sensory overload. Everything was too bright, too loud, too much. Talking shreds her eardrums and the lights are overwhelming. Blurry faces are staring at her and she doesn’t blame them; she probably looks like she’s having a panic attack. Maybe she is.

She blinks once, twice, and then she can see properly again. Naturally, she’s confused and she looks around like she didn’t know where she was.

“Huh?” She said.

“Are you alright, love?” Jane asked, her voice thick with worry.

“You kinda zoned out there for a minute.” Anne added.

“What? I did? Sorry.”

Cleves and Aragon exchange skeptical looks, but didn’t say anything when the youngest queen assured them all that she was fine.

“Are you sure?” Jane gently touches the girl’s shoulder, “You can sit this performance out if you’d like.”

“No, really, I’m fine.”

Sure, her head hurt a little, but that was just from ramming her skull into a door the night before. Not from her weird and sudden daze. But that slight headache became more and more painful once the performance started. As if a spear were shattering her skull, the sensation flared to the point where it became difficult to even stand still. It was as if someone was trying to pull her brain out of her nose. She swayed like the rolling waves of the ocean, struggling to keep her feet firmly rooted in place. And, although she thought she did a good job at hiding her sudden migraine, people did notice.

Anne was one of few who realized something was wrong, but, unlike the audience, she was actually concerned. Her cousin looked very pale under the stage lights, almost ill. Naturally, she wanted to help Katherine, but she didn’t know how to make it look natural or part of the show. So, she had to worry in silence as the younger queen stepped up to sing her solo.

Katherine moved onward with her song, totally aware of what she was saying and dancing to- but was she aware of her own mind?

Indeed, Katherine struggled, trying hard to concentrate as she belted out lines and lyrics. She could feel her consciousness slipping further away with every step, every choreographed movement she took. If she could not soon learn how to block out the throbbing and ringing within her head, she feared she would lose consciousness in the middle of the show.

Anne could see one of her cousin’s eyes at her angle, and what reached out from Katherine’s amber socket worried her even more. A frightened gaze of pain.

Katherine rears back once All You Wanna Do finally ends and she can’t stop herself from pressing the heel of her palm to her temple. She grits her teeth when she forces on a smile to appease the crowd, hoping they would stop clapping because it was only furthering her anguish. She shuffles back over to the other queens and avoids Anne’s questioning gaze.

Finally, after what felt like six hours, the performance came to a close. By then, Katherine was half-assing her lines just to get it over with. She put nowhere near enough energy and effort into her dancing and singing, but that was only because her migraine was starting to make her feel nauseous.

At curtain call, she bowed and then hightailed it off of the stage.

Anne watched her go before also leaving way too early.

She found her cousin in the bathroom, on her knees in front of the toilet. She looked utterly miserable, taking in deep, shallow breaths as bile dribbled down either sides of her her mouth. Sweat rolls down her pale face.

“Katherine?” Anne calls out softly, standing at the doorway.

She sees how Katherine’s shoulders jolt and then tense up. Her head doesn’t raise to make eye contact.

“Kitty?” She tried again. “Are you alright?”

Anne steps inside and closes the door slightly behind her. As Katherine rocked herself, Anne knelt down and placed a hand against her forehead.

“I’m not feeling that great,” Katherine gurgled through cringing lips.

“You’re not kidding.” Anne said.

“I’m just gonna…sit here for a moment.” She panted.

“That’s alright.” Anne assured her, rubbing her back and quickly pulling her messy hair out of the way. “You know, though…you shouldn’t have gone on if you were feeling this shitty.”

It took Katherine a moment to answer, as she had to regain her breathing after emptying her stomach again. She blinked blearily and then flushed the toilet, finally feeling the nausea dissolve away.

“I only started feeling bad once we started performing.” She said and Anne frowned.

“That sucks.” Anne said.

It really did. It was also a little boggling. Katherine had no idea where the headache and urge to vomit up her insides even came from. She really did feel mostly fine until she stepped on that stage. It was like walking out of a safe zone and into the radiation of Chernobyl.

She had felt her worst when singing All You Wanna Do. She was actually surprised she hadn’t fainted because of how dizzy and weak she had felt. That made her wonder if the incident from the night before and her current condition were related to each other somehow.

But that was impossible! A hallucination and/or nightmare couldn’t possibly have any effects on her aside from fear and anxiety! She just chocked it up to the migraine making her feel terrible, which seemed likely enough.

“Can you stand?” Anne asked.

“Yeah, I think so.” Katherine replied.

Slowly, she staggered up to her feet, with the help of her cousin steadying her. She wobbled a little before regaining her balance.

“I’m probably in for an earful.” She sighed.  
Anne laughed and pat her shoulder.

“Can’t be worse than when you threw the plate at the wall for no reason this morning.”

———

Katherine could barely register her fear at first. She was too shocked from hearing the tiny tap, tap, tap.

Unwillingly, her eyes opened and she was facing her bedroom window, and the figure standing outside of it. When he notices her awake, his hand freezes in the air and he smiled.

Mannox tried to open the window, but it was locked. His smile disappeared for a moment. He started to tap on the glass again.

“Let me in.”

His mouth is moving, but there was no way Katherine should be hearing his words as clearly as she was. It was like he was already in the room with her, straddling her hips and whispering in her ear.

“Come out, Katherine. Come out. You’ll be safe with us, Katherine. Come out.”

His voice. It was so wrong. It made Katherine sick.

The young queen rolled over so her back was facing Mannox. She curled into a tight ball and buried her face in the blankets, willing herself to fall asleep if she just kept her eyes screwed shut for long enough.

“Come to me. Open the window. Open the window. Open the window.”

“Go away!”

His voice bursts into mad chant.

“Openthewindowopenthewindowillwatchyousleepopenthewindowopenthewindowopenthewindowopenthewindowopenthewindowopenthewindowopenthewindowopenthewindowopenthewindow..”

“GO AWAY!”

It stopped. For a moment.

“One day, you’re going to leave the window open. And I’ll crawl in and I’ll remember what we did. I’ll make you remember, too. Open the window, and I won’t hurt you.”

It stood, dead silent. Waiting. Katherine began to cry softly into her blankets.

“Let’s strike the chords and blow the flute, Katherine.”

Katherine audibly sobbed at that.

“Open the window, Katherine. Open the window. Please. I miss you. I miss the way you-“

“Go a-way!” Katherine’s voice cracked and pitched as terrible memories rushed back to her.

Silence.

A frustrated growl. Claws scraped against the glass. The horribly distorted voice speaks back up. A demonic howl, no presence of friendship left.

“You are going to be nothing. Nothing.“

Mannox slammed his claws against the window, pressing closer to the glass. His eyes held nothing but hunger and malice. He was dying to get his hands on little Katherine again.

“You know where I see you in ten years? I see you weak and dirty, hanging by a noose in your own bedroom because you were so much of a failure.”

Katherine was sobbing at this point.

“Nobody wants you. These people? They don’t love you. They’ve never loved you. The only one who will ever care about you is me. I want you.”

“Just…just go away! Please….go away…”

“Let me tell you the truth, Katherine. The world is horrifying. It is empty and dark. In the end, it won’t even matter if you came with me or not.“

The voices started to fade as did the shadow on her bedroom floor.

“You’ll see that, Katherine. You’ll see that.”

Silence fell over the bedroom. The only sound is that of Katherine’s labored breathing. She doesn’t dare flip over to her other side to check if Mannox really left, she was just praying and trusting that he did.

And then, her window shattered.

Katherine instinctively bolted up and she saw Mannox crawling inside her bedroom and rushing toward her bed like he was an animal. His features are twisted and inhuman and his mouth is foaming again.

Katherine shrieked so loudly the neighbors could probably hear her. She began screaming for help like she was already being raped, and that naturally spiked her fight or flight response. She flipped out of bed and scampered to the corner of her room, cowering and still crying out. It wasn’t long before her door was practically kicked off its hinges and light bursts to life.

All five of the other queens, not just Jane or Anne, stared at the youngest of the group, who has somehow managed to back herself into the corner. Katherine’s eyes are wide and she doesn’t even regard them; she’s too busy staring at her window and crying. When she does notice them, though, she practically jumps out of her skin.

Jane moves first. She goes very slowly, arms out, palms downwards, like she was trying to calm a wild animal, which she knew became much more defensive and unpredictable when cornered. Anne and Aragon follow, equally as careful. Still, Katherine flinches and then turtles into the corner, bracing her arms over her head like she thought the other queens were going to hurt her.

“Katherine. Katherine, sweetheart, it’s okay.” Jane murmured while kneeling down in front of the poor girl. “We’re not going to hurt you. We would never hurt you.”

“No. No!” Katherine cried, “You don’t- There’s someone in my room!”

Aragon and Cleves immediately bristled up and began looking around, but they couldn’t see anyone. None of them could. And it’s not like someone could escape without them noticing.

“There’s no one in here, love.” Parr said gently.

“Yes there is! I saw him! Someone is in here!”

Just mentioning him brought a fresh wave of tears and Katherine choked for a moment. Then, she shot up to her feet at an alarming speed that made both Anne and Jane rear back a little.

“You shouldn’t be walking around.” Aragon said, trying to get the girl to sit back down, but she flinches away from her hands.

“He’s in here! I saw him! He-“

Katherine’s breath caught in her throat when she saw how her window was completely intact. She stared at it in shock before humiliation sets in. She suddenly doesn’t want to turn around to face the other queens.

“He was… He’s…not here.”

Warm, gentle arms around and Katherine twists around to press into Jane’s embrace. A hand began to stroke the back of her head and she felt herself relax a little, despite the nagging fear.

“Would you like to sleep with me tonight?” Jane asked and Katherine nodded.

Snuggling up with Jane slightly smothered the fear and anxiety Katherine had been feeling. Maybe it all had been a very vivid nightmare or hallucination, just like the night before. Being held in the arms of her mother figure really helped her believe it was all fake and she slowly lulled back to sleep.

And then there was the slightest tap on Jane’s bedroom window.

“Open the window, Katherine.”

It was going to be a long night.


	2. in making the beast with two backs

Katherine didn’t sleep at all. Even after Mannox disappeared, she didn’t dare let her guard down. She was too anxious, fearing he would show up again the moment she let herself relax.

It was morning, now. She swung her legs over the side of the bed and padded to the hallway bathroom, being careful to not disturb Jane, who was still asleep.

Taking off her clothes took great effort for some reason, like her limbs were made of lead. She shuffled into the shower and almost immediately spits out water that beats into her face. Blindly, like she has never showered before, she paws around for a safe spot from the onslaught.

Normally, a hot shower would be relaxing, but when she was in this lucid, overly-paranoid state, it was like a torture segment. Instead of cleaning her, it was scraping her skin off entirely. Claws of fire latch onto frayed edges and tore in deep, tunneling down into her very core.

She tried to counter the scald by scrubbing and scrubbing until her flesh was raw and glowed neon pink, but she still couldn’t seem to get herself completely clean. She felt itchy and uncomfortable, like she wasn’t in the right body. Almost humorously, she turned in circles in the shower, clearly disoriented.

But Katherine was not going to let herself be defeated by a damn bath. She has been through things that are much worse than this. This was just. Bloody. Showering.

Katherine yelped when her skull cracked against the shower walls. She slumped down to her knees, rubbing the back of her head with the hand that wasn’t faintly covered in her own blood. Her skin had started to bleed from exertion, and it…almost felt nice.

No. She couldn’t think like that.

She looks down at herself and cringes a little. There’s faded scars around her breasts. She vividly remembers the way men tore into her with teeth and talons and tongue, biting and scratching and licking. Pain was not a turn-on for her. None of them seemed to understand that.

Eventually, she got out of the shower and pulled on the clothes she had brought in with her. Downstairs was where she heard the first trace of the voice.

It was a whisper in the back of head at first, but it moved to echo in her left ear. Instinctively, her hand had snapped up to tentatively touch her earlobe. The voice was faint, distant, but distorted nonetheless.

But it was right before the first performance for that day when its words really started to make sense.

The green room didn’t feel right. Too empty, too quiet. Being alone in there almost felt like an intrusion. Where were the other queens?

_“Aww, how sad.”_

Every muscle in Katherine’s body tensed up. The hairbrush she had been using clattered to the floor.

_“They left you. Like usual. Nobody wants to be around you.”_

Mannox’s voice is distorted, but she can hear every word loud and clear. He’s nowhere to be seen, but it’s like he’s right behind her, whispering into her ear.

“That’s not true.” Katherine growled, but her tone was shaky.

_“Oh really? Then where they?”_

Katherine grits her teeth tightly. Mannox laughs. It’s so maniacal, and rebounds in her skull, echoing in her ears. She clutches at her head when her temples throb.

_“That’s what I thought.”_

“Shut up.”

_“Feisty today, aren’t we? My feisty girl.”_

“I don’t belong to you.” Katherine spat, peering up at nothing in particular.

There’s silence for a moment. She thinks she hears Mannox click his tongue. His laughter shivers again.

 _“You really are a silly little girl,”_ He says. _“Just an ignorant, silly little girl.”_

Katherine says nothing. She keeps her head bowed. Mannox takes it as a sign of obedience.

 _“Don’t you agree?”_ He croons. _“Aren’t you just a silly little girl?”_

No words are said from Katherine.

 _“Well then,”_ Mannox says, _“Better not just sit there. They’ll think you’re weak. You don’t want, say, Jane to think you’re weak, do you? You like Jane a lot, don’t you?”_

Katherine stirs. She grasps the edge of the table she was sitting at and hauls herself up to her feet. Her eyes are open but she’s can’t see straight. Her body does not feel like her own. Mannox continues to taunt her.

_“Go on, my darling. Find your ‘friends’. If they haven’t abandoned you yet, that is.”_

Katherine staggers for the door. She steps out into the wings and, suddenly, she can hear noises again. The backstage was no longer silent; stagehands were bustling, the stage manager was checking on everything, the other queens were warming up. When Jane noticed her, she smiled warmly and waved her over.

 _“They were hoping you wouldn’t show up.”_ Mannox leers.

“Get out of my head.”

“What?”

Cleves looked at the youngest of the group with a confused-curious look. Apparently she had spat that sentence way too loudly, even though vocal warmups were going on and those tended to be a little noisy.

“Oh. Umm,” Katherine’s ears turn red and Mannox bursts into terrible laughter. It takes everything in her to not whimper from how badly it made her head hurt. “I wasn’t talking to- Nothing.”

Cleves gives her a worried frown, but drops it when she sees how uncomfortable the girl was getting. She pats her lightly on the head and then went back to warming up.

 _“Good going, you dumb slut.”_ Mannox says.

The first show of the day soon began and Katherine worried about how she was going to tune out Mannox’s voice when she was having to sing and dance and act, but he didn’t say anything else after that insulting comment, much to her relief. The performance went by rather quickly, unlike the day before, where it had felt like it dragged on forever. After curtain call was finished, Katherine went to get some water and freshen up when pain drilled deep into her temples.

She staggered and suddenly there are hands pinning her wrists against the wall. She can barely breathe as Henry Mannox glowers down at her.

His touch and breath against her skin feels too real. When he notices Katherine’s terrified expression, he smiled.

One hand lets go and goes for her neck. Katherine snaps out of her horrified daze and clawed at his fingers. Something sharp is digging into her skin, into the scar that had been left behind from execution, and that made her panic harder.

“Stop-“ Katherine gasped through her oncoming panic attack.

 _“Stop?”_ Mannox echoed and his voice is inside of her head. _“You want me to stop?”_

The pain worsens as his fingers sink in deeper. Katherine desperately tries to pull his hand away, but he’s so much stronger than she was. She can only struggle and whimper pathetically as dirty fingernails hook in the angry red maw the scar was becoming.

“Please,” Katherine begged, choking on her tears.

Mannox simply laughs. He presses his body against hers, breathing hard in her ear. His other hand had released her arm, which just falls uselessly at her side.

Katherine looks like an abused puppy below him. He had her just where he wanted her; in that state of mind where she was so traumatized that her body shut down.

His hand slithered around her hips. The costume she had to wear revealed too much skin for a girl who was trying to not be seen as a sex icon; Mannox chuckled when he thought about how many men in this era have gotten off to her. It seems like this performance was hurting her, not helping her.

Mannox’s hand rises up to Katherine’s chest, who squeaks in alarm. She tries to fight against him, but she was as useless as a kitten being carried by the scruff with his fingernails hooked in her weak spot. That left her completely vulnerable to him.

Katherine couldn’t fight. She’s having a panic attack and she can’t properly do the breathing techniques she learned for when this happened. Instead, she practically suffocates, wheezing and gasping desperately for air. Her eyes flutter shut once and it’s difficult to open them again.

 _“Ohh, yes,”_ Mannox croons when the girl moans weakly in pain, _“You and those noises make me so…”_

He suddenly jolted backwards, ripping his fingernails free.

“Katherine?!”

Mannox released the teenager and took off down the hallway as Parr rushed over, not even regarding that one of Katherine’s abusers was in the building.

“Katherine. Katherine, honey, breathe. You’re having a panic attack.”

“No….no!” Katherine cried, finally finding her voice. She thrashes her head around, which causes her neck to burn intensely. “Mannox! Mannox is here!!”

Parr’s concern probably increased by ten when she heard that. She frowned and gently felt Katherine’s forehead.

“You’re a little warm… Here, sit down and following my breath-“

Katherine went to scream again when she, too, stopped herself. There was blood on one of her hands. Too much blood. Sure, she had been trying to stop Mannox from cutting into her, but there shouldn’t be this much.

“Oh, Katherine…”

“He hurt me,” Katherine whimpered. Her knees buckled and she collapsed into Parr’s arms, who got a clear view of the reopened gash carved in the back of her neck. “Hurts…!”

Parr lowered to the floor slowly, lifting Katherine’s hair out of the way so it wouldn’t get clotted in the blood. The young queen is clutching onto one of her arms, breathing heavily.

“Breathe, Katherine. Breathe. Follow me.” Parr lifts Katherine’s head so it’s resting on her chest and she could feel the rise and fall from her own breaths.

Parr was unsure how she was going to stop the bleeding and get Katherine to breathe normally when Cleves suddenly shouted down the hallway. She called her over urgently.

“Anna! Katherine’s hurt!”

Even Cleves looked a little pale when she saw the bloodied scar. She didn’t stick around long, running off to get some supplies and the other queens.

“Hallway,” She had said to Aragon and Jane, who were idly conversing, “Go the bathroom hallway. Katherine’s bleeding.”

That was enough to send both of them to the location as quickly as possible. Anne catches sight of them and followed, but she wished she hadn’t when she saw the scarlet maw frothing at the back of her baby cousin’s neck. Aragon notices her starting to shake and she covers her eyes.

“Oh my god,” Jane mutters, gently taking Katherine from Parr. “What happened?”

“I don’t know.” Parr admits, “I found her clawing into her neck.”

“No,” Katherine whimpers, “It was Mannox. Mannox hurt me. Please-please find him. He’s here.”

The queens exchanged very worried looks. Cleves suddenly came barreling down the hallway with a stagehand in tow and supplies in hand.

“Honey, Henry Mannox is dead.” Jane says gently, making Cleves perk up a little in interest, since she hadn’t been there for Katherine’s outburst.

“He-he was reincarnated. Like us. He was at my window last night, too! That’s why I screamed! Here’s here!” Katherine’s voice became weaker as she choked on the tears and pain, “He-he was touching me. Here’s going to get me.”

“I would never let him set a hand on you again.” Anne growled lowly, batting away Aragon’s hands. She’s a little pale, but is keeping herself together for the sake of her cousin. “You hear me, Kitty? Never again.”

Katherine whimpered and her eyes wander up, and she swore she thought she saw Mannox smirking down at her. She froze like a deer in headlights and clutched desperately to Jane’s sleeve.

“Katherine, honey, there’s no one there.” Aragon tells her, but she just shakes her head.

“He’s here.” It comes out weaker, fainter as lack of oxygen intake starts to have an effect on her.

Gentle hands cup her cheeks and she looks up at Jane, who has a worried, but fiercely protective look on her face.

“Eyes on me, darling,” Jane says, “Follow my breathing. Like we’ve been practicing. In,” She takes an exaggerated breath, “And out.” She exhales.

Katherine follows for a moment before her eyes dart behind Jane again. She looks back when fingers brush her cheeks.

“Ah, ah, eyes on me.” Jane chided gently, stroking some of the young queen’s hair back. “Can you take another breath for me?”

Katherine went to at least try, but instead she yelped sharply when something wet presses against the back of her neck. She swung her arm around and nailed the stagehand in the jaw, causing him to reel backwards.

Usually, she would be apologizing immediately, but this was a guy touching her. Terrified fury blazes in her glassy eyes.

“Don’t touch me!” She snarled.

“Katherine, sweetie, calm down. Nobody is going to hurt you.” Jane murmurs and the anger is snuffed out almost instantly upon hearing the velvety voice.

With the anger, goes the numbness and Katherine’s neck burns intensely in pain. She whimpers and presses her face against Jane’s shoulder. For a moment, she thought she heard the stagehand scoff.

“I’ll do it,” Anne says, going to take the rag, but Cleves stops her.

“I don’t think that’ll be good for you. Let me.” The German queen says.

Anne pursed her lips, but, surprisingly, backed down.

The rag felt like it had dozens of tiny teeth sewn onto it, grinding deep into Katherine’s neck when the blood was cleaned off. At least it was better than the antiseptic, which had made the youngest queen hiss in pain from the sharp sting that flared through her flesh.

By then, she was easing into that dissociative state that usually came after panic attacks. Everything was numb and felt so lucid, but her chest continued to burn with the pain of holding back tears and her much-needed anxiety attack after that traumatic experience. She desperately wanted to cry, to let out all the emotions that came from Mannox attacking her, but no one would believe her. It would be silly to bother the other queens with something that they didn’t even think really happened.

“Are you okay?” Jane asked softly, but Katherine still jumped.

“I…I think I am now.” Katherine mumbled, “I’m really sorry. I don’t know what came over me..”

It was Mannox. He came over her- literally.

“It’s alright, sweetheart,” Jane tucked a loose strand of hair behind the girl’s ear, “Just come find me or one of the others if you’re having that bad of a flareup, alright? You shouldn’t hurt yourself.”

“I-I didn’t mean to!” Katherine yelped, her ears burning red. “I just…panicked…”

“Remember that we’re always here for you, love.” Jane kisses the top of the girl’s head.

Katherine nodded and was helped to her feet by Aragon and Parr. Everything spun around a few times before clearing up, but she still has to grasp one of the queen’s shoulders for balance. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees her cousin jump a little from worry, desperately waiting to aid her, too.

“I don’t think you should go on,” Aragon decides.

“I can still perform!” Katherine replied quickly, “I’m fine, really. Just give me a moment…or two…”

She wobbled and Cleves swoops in, grounding her. At this point, it’s not even the pain that’s making Katherine feel like there’s cotton in her head, it’s the sight of Mannox, whose face keeps flickering behind her eyelids.

“Katherine, I really don’t think-“

“Please? I swear I’m fine. Besides, none of the swings are here to take my place and they won’t get here in time before the next show happens.” Katherine says.

Aragon and Jane exchange looks, but give in, despite their nagging maternal worry for the young girl.

“Well, there’s one other problem…”

Cleves could feel Katherine tense when Parr held up her choker. It was ripped viciously, which its wearer hadn’t even realized had happened.

“You can wear mine!” Anne suddenly jumped in.

“Yours has a B on it.” Aragon points out and the second queen gritted her teeth when she remembered that small problem.

“I’ll go on without it.” Katherine says. “I’ll be fine.”

She most certainly was not fine.

Going onstage and performing without her choker was like getting under that spotlight naked. She felt so bare without her trademark accessory and couldn’t help but think the whole crowd was judging her. Especially when she would occasionally twirl or turn around and the light hit her inflamed scar in just the right wait to make it noticeable to everyone.

It soon came time to sing her solo and she swore the crowd looked…really impressed. More impressed than usual. Maybe that’s because she was staring at them with unimaginable terror in her eyes.

Because all of them had the face of Henry Mannox grinning back at her.

———

Anne looked up from brushing her teeth when she heard a soft tap on the bathroom doorframe. She spit into the sink and then laughed.

“You don’t have to knock when I’m just brushing my teeth,” She says.

Katherine poked her head in and grinned sheepishly.

“Right.”

“What can I do for you, babes?” Anne asked, wiping her mouth.

“Can I sleep with you tonight?”

Anne immediately perked up, which seemed to ease her Katherine’s anxiety.

“Of course!”

After the incident at theatre, Anne was more than happy to finally get a chance to help out her baby cousin. She wrapped an arm around Katherine’s shoulders and began leading her up to her loft bedroom.

And, despite her welcoming presence, it didn’t protect Katherine once the moon rose high.

It was the subtle creak, creak, creak that woke Katherine up from her much needed sleep. Her eyes shot open and the first thing she saw was her cousin, still asleep beside her. Then she made the mistake of looking up and she felt her blood run cold.

Somebody…was hanging from a noose in front of the bed.

Katherine choked back a scream as the body swung back and forth slowly. The sound of the rope straining and squeaking stabbed directly into her ears. Fear bubbles up high within her. With a shaking hand, she reaches over and grabs her phone, using the screen to see who this was.

She immediately regretted it.

Francis Dereham’s maggot-filled eye sockets stared straight into her very soul. His mouth is hanging open slightly, and worms are wriggling around inside, eating their way through his gums and jaw. The noose is cutting deep into his throat, the decayed skin flecking and peeling from the pressure looped around it. The putrid smell of rot quickly fills the room.

_“Katherine…”_

A few worms fall out when his lips move, others retreat down his throat, causing him to gargle a little on his next words.

_“Katherine…”_

Tears flow freely down Katherine’s cheeks. Francis tilts his head very slowly, straining in the noose.

_“Why are you crying, Katherine?”_

Katherine whimpers weakly, pressing herself up against the headboard. Francis smiled at her fear.

_“Poor little girl. Poor little Katherine.”_

Her name doesn’t sound right coming out of his mouth. It sends shivers down her spine.

_“Please come help me, Katherine.”_

One of Francis’ arms raised up and he grabbed the rope, pulling but is unable to get himself free.

_“Please, Katherine. This is hurting me.”_

Katherine doesn’t dare move.

“ _Katherine_.”

Nothing.

“ _Katherine!_ ”

The young girl flinches violently.

_“I know you can hear me, girl. Help me down from this damned rope right now.”_

Malice and fury warps Francis’ decayed features.

_“You idiotic child! When I get down from here, I’m going to make you hurt. Do you hear me, Katherine? I’m going to pound your pathetic little body until you’re brain dead.”_

Katherine tries to lay back down, but keeps her hands firmly clamped over her ears. She can still hear Francis taunting her, and the smell of corpse doesn’t make her feel any better.

And then, Anne stirs. Even half-asleep, the emerald queen can feel the trembling beside her. Instinctively, she reaches out and wraps Katherine up in her arms. Francis scoffs.

_“You won’t be able to walk once I’m done with you, little girl. You’ll be nothing. Nothing, you hear me! I’m going to make you bleed.”_


	3. sick.

The physical pain Katherine’s body wielded could not compare to her mental pain. In retaliation to the girl’s attempt to silence the voices that had been whispering in her ears all night long, they began toiling over in her skull, laying a permanent fog over her thought process and making so many simple things-  
Katherine lurched over on the spot as she nearly tumbled straight down the staircase.

-like walking, for example, a dangerous act in and of itself.

She was so tired, physically and emotionally. It’s not like sleep ever came easy for her due to her frequent nightmares, but all these noises inside of her head just made it ten times worse. Everything seemed to be yelling loud enough for the damned to hear. Katherine’s misty mind was filled to the brim with it, and the girl could swear she heard it echoing off the house walls around her. A long, bloodcurdling scream that never ended.

All because of what happened without her consent.

None of the other queens knew why she was acting like this. She didn’t want them to. She didn’t want to burden them anymore, but she also feared they would be disgusted if they found out.

Katherine staggered down the last step, but tried to make her momentary loss of balance look as natural as possible. She leaned against the wall for a moment, letting her eyes flutter shut. For once, horrific images did not flash behind her eyelids. She panted and went to walk into the kitchen, but could not find the energy to move. The world was starting to blur together, sound and feeling becoming one.

Would it hurt to rest for just a minute? Just for a minute…

“Katherine?”

That sound, a sound so beautifully sharp.

“Are you alright, Katherine?”

A commanding tone, a beautifully sharp commanding tone.

A new feeling formed on the top of her head, one that gave the girl an ungodly burst of strength. In a split second she was upright, still trembling despite the warm temperature in the house, and looked up at Aragon with what could only be known as relief.

“I assure you the chairs and couch are much more comfortable than the wall.” The Spanish queen says, “Are you okay?”

Katherine said nothing in response; she didn’t even react to her friend’s presence. Her eyes were glassy, making her almost look blind.

Aragon sensed something was wrong. She bent down to Katherine’s height, angling her chin to look up at her.

“Look at me, love.”

Thoughts were trying to push their way through the fog. Thoughts that, if Aragon were able to read minds, she would certainly have smacked Katherine for them.

Although it would not be unwelcome…

“Katherine!”

Katherine snapped her attention back to the Spanish queen, using her wobbly legs to make small distance between them. The voices were still howling in her mind.  
Aragon is frowning in worry and confusion. She sets a hand on the girl’s shoulder.

“What has happened to you? You are usually more attentive than this…”

A simple thought is fighting its way through the fog.

_Gut_

Oh how Katherine wished Aragon would just **_GUT_** her, if only so that these infuriating voices could wail no longer.

“Why don’t you lay down on the couch?” Aragon suggested, guiding Katherine over to the sofa, making sure not to accidentally tug on her obviously fragile body. Luckily, she’s able to get the young queen to lie down and rest until the others get back, but the peaceful reverie doesn’t last long.

Katherine flinched hard and her eyes shot open. Everything was dark. She couldn’t remember where she was and she couldn’t see anything at all to even begin to piece it together. Two hands were on her shoulders, pinning her down and her heart leapt into her mouth. Where was she? Who was on her? What were they going to do to her?

Katherine grabbed the wrists holding her down and twisted them sharply.

There was a cry above her and Katherine used the brief lack of pressure on her shoulders to shove the hands away and push herself up. She didn’t know where the person was; her eyes hadn’t adapted to the darkness enough- it was so dark. why was it dark? wasn’t it morning? is she in their house? is she trapped? she’s so scared- to make them out but they had made the mistake of sitting beside her and not on her to keep her pinned down and Katherine took her chance to escape. She dove left, hopefully out of reach of anyone in the room but she didn’t know where she was going and very quickly found herself on the cold, hard ground. She spasmed and strong hands pulled her up.

“Katherine? Katherine, sweetie, it’s okay.”

For a moment, Katherine faltered. She had been expecting a man’s voice. This wasn’t that. She didn’t know what to do with this.

  
Katherine blinked hard in the darkness, trying to force her eyes to adjust to it. Her heart was thumping in her chest and her whole body was tensed, ready to make another blind run for it if she got a chance. Her ears strained for any sound of movement; any footsteps or a rustle of clothing that would tell her someone was trying to get closer. Hell, she didn’t even know how many people were in this room or how many could see her. She couldn’t hear anything over her own uneven breaths and the blood roaring in her ears.

“Katherine, can you hear me?” The voice asked gently. “It’s me. It’s Aragon. You’re safe here, we’re at our house.”

Katherine felt shivers cascade down her arms and over her thighs. No, it couldn’t be. She was dead.

“Katherine, you’re safe here. It’s Aragon. We’re in the living room, remember? You’re safe, sweetie, nobody’s coming for you. I’m going to turn on one of the lights now so you can see for yourself, okay?”

Katherine winced as a lamp flickered to life and lit up the room. She expected to open her eyes to a roomful of men with bulges in their pants trying to defile her. Instead what she saw was a regular living room with a TV and couches and a coffee table. And, there right beside her, was Catherine of Aragon, eyes warm and watching Katherine with a soft smile, hands held low and in front of her, palms down, like she was trying to soothe a cornered animal. Everything about this was wrong.

“Aragon?” Katherine said, surprised at how raspy her voice sounded. She hadn’t noticed how dry her throat was until her voice caught in the back of it and the name barely left her lips.

Still, Aragon’s smile widened but her eyes were still sad and Katherine’s heart seized.

“It’s me, Katherine. I’m here.”

“I’m dead,” Was Katherine’s immediate response. Something about this was wrong.

“No, sweetie,” Aragon’s voice was soft and calm and Katherine’s heart was making a cacophony in her chest, harmonising with her ragged breathing and her blood rushing through her veins and the hundred voices shrieking inside of her head. “You’re not dead. You’re alive and we’re both safe here.”

“No, we’re- we’re- we’re-“ Katherine didn’t know how she meant to finish that sentence. They were what? Dead, they were dead. Both of them.

“Katherine, honey, where do you think you are?” Aragon’s voice was still so gentle, so careful. Tiny movements, soft and delicate like she was handling spun glass.

“Tower.” Katherine was certain of it.

“You’re not in the tower anymore, Katherine. You aren’t. You‘re free. You’re in London, at the house we share with the other four queens.”

Katherine looked back at Aragon. The woman hadn’t moved from her spot and her hands were still held out in front of her, low and palms towards the floor.

“Katherine , sweetie, can you try again?” Aragon asked, keeping her eyes trained on Katherine as she fought through the whirlwind of thoughts battering around inside her skull. “Where do you think we are?”

Katherine looked around the room again and tightened her hands into fists at her sides. Her fingernails dug into her palms, leaving a trail of red crescents etched into her skin. She shivered, soaked in cold sweat, although it felt more like hot, sticky blood.

“I’m not…I’m not in the tower?” Katherine tried but it was still a question. It wasn’t something tangible and real that she could cling onto and the words sat funny in the back of her throat and she felt like she needed to swallow them down again.

“You’re not in the tower, that’s right.”

“I’m not in the tower,” Katherine repeated and it felt better this time. More solid. More like it could be true.

“You’re in London, at our house, in the living room.” Aragon told her again.

“Living room,” Katherine echoed softly.

“It’s okay, Katherine. You’re at home. You’re safe. You’re in London and no one is going to hurt you anymore,” Aragon continued gently. “You’re having a panic attack, sweetie.”

No wonder why Katherine couldn’t breathe. Her chest was tight and her ears were ringing and she felt like there was a target painted onto her back. She pressed her palms flat against the wall behind her, feeling just a touch safer knowing that no one could sneak up behind her when she was like this.

“Can you try breathing with me? Nice and slow, in through your nose and then out through your mouth remember?”

Katherine forced her eyes to stay on Aragon as she shuffled slowly towards the the trembling girl, closing the gap between them. She held out a hand to Katherine, but she couldn’t move to take it. Instead, she nodded stiffly to let Aragon know she had heard her and clenched her hands against the plaster. Her knuckles were stiff as she spread her weight from her palms onto her fingers and Katherine pressed more of her weight backwards until a dull pain blossomed in the joints. It gave her something she could trust to focus on. The pain was real, even if the rest was questionable.

She took a shaky breath in with Aragon and tried to hold it but her lungs were too shallow to match what Aragon was doing. Her chest burned as she tried to hold the air in place and Katherine choked on the breath and gasped, forcing more air into her already full lungs. It felt like drowning and Katherine made a pained whimper as flashes of black spots clouded her vision. She was helpless, lost in the force of the ocean waves. She couldn’t tell which way was up or down or where the shore was and then suddenly, someone had laced their fingers around hers and Katherine squeezed tightly onto her lifeline.

“-hear me? Katherine? It’s okay, I promise it’s okay, nothing’s happening, you’re not in danger. You’re safe here. Can you even hear me? What do I do if you can’t hear me? Katherine, I’m right here, it’s Aragon, I’m here and I’ve got you, okay? I’m not leaving you.”

“Aragon?” Katherine rasped and felt the fingers intertwined with hers give a tiny reassuring squeeze.

“Yes, that’s right. It’s me, I’m still here. It’s just you and me, sweetie, nobody else. Can you open your eyes for me? Please?” Aragon’s voice was much closer to her ear now and slightly more frantic than it had been a minute ago. Katherine could hear it tinged into her assurances.

She hadn’t even realised her eyes were closed until Aragon asked her to open them again. She blinked them open slowly, squinting in the light. She was still hunched against the wall but Aragon was next to her now, holding her hand. Katherine was looking down at her own chest which was heaving with her efforts to breathe.

Aragon smiled at her effort and reached her other hand up to brush some of the strands back from Katherine’s sweaty forehead. Katherine closed her eyes gently and exhaled quietly as Aragon fingertips dragged across her temple and sent shivers down her arms.

“Shh, it’s okay, it’s okay,” Aragon soothed her, brushing her fingers through Katherine’s hair and over the shell of her ear. Katherine fell silent, listening to Aragon’s breathing and tried to match her own to it. It was easier standing together like this, when Katherine could know Aragon was really there.

And then, the door swung open.

“WE GOT DONUTS!!”

Katherine digs her fingernails deep into Aragon’s knuckles when Anne suddenly yelled while making her entrance. When the other queens noticed what was happening, Cleves and Parr both lunged forward to cover the emerald queen’s mouth before she could start babbling again. Aragon doesn’t even acknowledge their existence; she’s too focused on calming the poor girl before her.

“Katherine,” She called out softly.

Katherine’s wide eyes are staring at the other queens in terror. She only looks away because Aragon gently redirects her chin to meet her gaze.

“Focus on me, honey. You were doing so well. Keep breathing.” Aragon says.

Katherine tries, but her eyes keep wandering. She sees the faces of the queens- her family- through a blizzard of white and black. Aragon. Jane. Anne. Cleves. Parr. Aragon. Jane. Anne. Cleves. Parr. Aragon. Jane. Anne. Cleves. Parr. Thomas. Aragon. Jane. Anne. Cleves. Parr. Thomas.

Thomas?

Is that Thomas? Katherine can’t tell because the corpse standing in between Jane and Parr has no head.

A sharp pain lances in between Katherine’s rib bones and her spine arches a little. White light blazes across her vision and she gasps, clutching desperately onto Aragon’s sleeves like they were her life line. All the while she’s sputtering our apologies, which makes the patient elder queen frown.

“Don’t apologize, darling,” Aragon said, gently brushing her fingers over the girl’s tear-stained cheeks. “You aren’t doing anything wrong.”

Her hand moves to rest on the side of Katherine’s torso, just below her breasts, which she makes sure not to touch (even the slightest brush of contact would probably send the poor girl spiraling).

“Breathe in. Ready?”

Katherine tries to follow, but it’s incredibly difficult because of the pain, which she realizes must be from oxygen starvation. She wasn’t getting enough air and her body was punishing her for it. She winces when her chest contracts and nearly doubled over.

“Hurts...!”

Aragon lifts the youngest queen’s head so they’re making eye contact and she frowns at how glazed over the amber eyes are. She moves her other head to support the back of Katherine’s head, ready to catch or even cradle her if needed.

“I know, honey, I know,” She murmured sadly, “Can you try again? Breathe in,” A hopeful smile cracks on her lips when she hears Katherine take in a ragged breath, “That’s very good, darling.”

The praise seems to help because, slowly but surely, Katherine is starting to breathe normally. She ends up curled up in Aragon’s arms, who holds her gently, but protectively. From behind, the other queens are shuffling into the dining room, being sure not to make any noise so they wouldn’t disturb or frighten Katherine. At one point, Jane tiptoes over, but Aragon tells her that she had Katherine and the others should start eating.

Eventually, Katherine is completely calm, but she’s clearly very exhausted. Two days without sleep is taking a toll on her, and that meltdown took even more out of her. And, even though she’s terrified of the headless figure still standing by the front door, she closed her eyes and drifted off into an abyss of horrors.

———

Katherine didn’t sleep at all, but she pretended she did. The moment she was put in bed after being carried up to her room by Cleves, her consciousness snaps back to her. She could only curl up in her bed and wait.

Somehow, she managed to convince the other queens she could go on for the show that night. There, she used up any energy she had remaining just to put on a stage persona in a seemingly endless cycle of acting and singing.

Anyone could tell Katherine wasn’t feeling right, especially the people in the front row. During Ex-Wives, she nearly fell over while doing the little dance in her solo part because she made the mistake of putting all her weight on her shaky knees while rocking back and forth. And she could barley get herself to smoothly do the choreography for Haus of Holbein, despite having rested a little during Heart of Stone. Every movement was just achy and treacherous. By the time All You Wanna Do came up, Katherine’s face was bright red, like she had been running a marathon. And, under the stage lights, she practically glowed with her new tint. Parr really struggled getting Katherine up to the apron to start her iconic roast speech and song. Even though it was in the blocking and script for her to resist a little, Katherine dug her heels against the ground and pulled against the sixth queen, who practically had to pick her up and carry her. At least the audience was laughing.

All You Wanna Do was...literal hell. The heat from the spotlights felt like the desert sun. Sweat is running down Katherine’s legs and made her inner thighs feel slick and slimy, which didn’t help with the terror she was already trying to quell. When she felt the first trail of perspiration trickle down her skin, she leapt back a little, shaking that leg in a way that made the audience laugh and the other queens confused.

Katherine struggles not to pant like a tired dog into the microphone. The people in the audience are blurring together into one big mass of dark limbs, but she can still make out the rotting body without a head.

Despite it being too soon, Katherine shoved off the hands touching her. She even feels her elbow connect with Cleves’ collarbone, which sends the German queen stepping back a little.

Finally, the end of the performance arrives. Katherine is soaked in sweat; her costume feels like it’s glued to her clammy skin. It’s strange, really. She barely danced or moved around enough to be out of energy, and yet here she was, damp, wet, and feeling leaky all over. The minute bows ended, she was off of that stage and making a beeline for the dressing room.

Katherine struggled with her sweat-saturated costume for a few agonizingly long seconds. She wanted to change before the other queens caught up to her, but her process was halted when she felt a hand press against her back.

The intense fear comes rushing back. It’s Mannox’s hand- It’s Francis’ hand- It’s Thomas’ hand- they’re all here and they’re going to defile her again. An unbidden whimper escapes the teenager’s lips.

“Katherine?”

Whose voice was that? It didn’t sound like a man.

“Katherine.”

It was so soothing.

“Katherine, honey, it’s Jane.”

Jane?

Katherine snaps out of her daze and that sends her reeling. She probably would have collapsed if it weren’t for Jane looping an arm around her back and holding her upright. She pushed against the elder queen a little, but ultimately gave up.

Jane frowned deeply and brushed some hair out of the teenager’s face. Her eyes then widened and she gently cups one of Katherine’s cheeks.

“Oh, sweetheart, you’re burning up.”

Katherine blearily stared up at her for a moment, barely reacting. Then, she moved her head so it would rest on Jane’s soft chest. Shivers start to rack through her achy body, despite still feeling hot and sweaty.

“You need to get home. Come on, let me help you out of that costume.”

Katherine really didn’t want Jane to see her in her undergarments, but there wasn’t much she could do to resist. So she had no other choice but to let the blonde queen undress her. She couldn’t stop herself from trembling, though.

“Shh, shh,” Jane soothed when she heard the poor girl whimper again, “Deep breaths, honey. I’m not going to hurt you. I’m almost done.”

Jane couldn’t help but examine Katherine once she got the damp costume off. Not in a sexual, needy way at all, but more in the way of a worried mother checking her child for injuries. And worried she was, especially when she saw the whited out scars stretching down Katherine’s back. There were so many- so many nails that had scraped the helpless teenager raw. Jane had the urge to hug the young queen, but knew that would only make her panic, since she didn’t have any proper clothes on.

“C-can you turn around? Please?” Katherine asked so softly Jane almost missed it.

“Of course, love.”

Jane did as she was asked, giving the frightened girl some privacy to pull her regular clothes back on. She would have left the room completely if it wasn’t for the nagging feeling that she shouldn’t leave Katherine alone.

The doorknob suddenly wiggled and Jane didn’t react fast enough to stop the others from bursting inside. Anne was chiming loudly, which just about caused Katherine to jump out of her skin.

“Hsst!” Jane hissed, glaring at them and then nodding towards Katherine, who was trembling even harder now.

“Oh, woah! Shut your eyes, you guys! Don’t look at my cousin when she’s naked!” Anne yelled, which didn’t make that situation any better. By that point, though, Katherine was gone.

“Will you shut it?” Aragon snapped, “You’re so loud. I’m sure the people left out in the auditorium can still hear you.”

“I was just saying.” Anne fired back.

“We weren’t going to gawk at her.” Cleves spoke up.

“I definitely wouldn’t.” Parr agreed.

“Like I said, I was just SAYING-“

“Katherine?”

Jane is knelt down in front of Katherine, who has managed to wrestle on her clothing (although her shirt was definitely inside out). The girl’s eyes are glazed over and she doesn’t even seem to acknowledge anyone anymore. She was lost in a trance of terror.

“Katherine?” Jane tried again, this time louder.

Nothing. Katherine continued to just tremble and heave her breaths. Jane picked up one of the her hands and placed it against her chest.

“Katherine, can you feel that? That’s my heartbeat. Try to use it to ground yourself, honey.” Jane murmurs, rubbing her thumbs over the girl’s knuckles. “You are here. You’re safe, I promise.”

But she wasn’t.

“Katherine?”

Katherine wheezed and then her eyes fluttered shut.

“Katherine!”

The young queen falls unconscious into Jane’s arms.

———

_“You want me, right?"_

_The question was so simple, so blunt, and yet it still left Katherine dumbfounded. She stared at Thomas in shock, backing up a little._

_“What? No. You’re my friend, why would I-“_

_“Katherine, I love you."_

_That was a punch to the stomach with an iron gauntlet._

_She feels like she's about to cry. This is going too far. Her eyes open with caution, and Thomas’ face is right in front of hers._

_“Don't." She says with as much conviction and aggression she can muster. "Don't you_ dare _do this."_

_“Come on now, dear, this will be fun. It'll make both of us happy."_

_Katherine feels stomach acid creeping up her throat, burning, itching, the urge to expel it all. But her mouth is twisted shut._

_“You want this, you do, otherwise you would've pushed me away already." Thomas smirked, knowing that Katherine couldn’t because he was pressing hard against her, his weight much greater than hers._

_“I’ll make it enjoyable for you, I promise. I’m going to make you feel so good, Katherine.”_

_Thomas’ tongue laps gently against the teenager’s earlobe before nipping and pulling with his teeth. He bites hard enough to leave a mark and doesn’t stop until his victim whimpers._

_Katherine’s heart aches so bad. It’s like someone's reaching in with their hand, grasping it so tight, twisting and tugging. Wringing it like a rag. She lets out a sob.  
Thomas pulls her closer, hugging her against him. Katherine can’t breathe for a moment as her face is smothered against his shoulder. He’s sucking on her neck, starting at the side and making his way to front, to the sensitive part of her throat. Katherine is forced to lift her chin, which just gives him more space to bite and mark. She sobs again._

_“Please. Please stop, Thomas. I-I don’t-“  
She whined sharply when yellow teeth nip on her collarbone. It comes out pained, but Thomas hears a moan of need._

_“Do you like that?”_

_Katherine shakes her head wildly and sobs when Thomas starts to make a mess of her chest. He’s pinning her wrists above her head, leaving her helpless to his assault. Slimy trails of saliva are left across her breasts and she cringes._

_“Please...please no...Thomas no...”_

_Thomas enjoys the way she pleads his name and starts to bite harder, just to get a reaction._

_“You like this, don’t you?”_

_“Th-Thomas, ple-“ Katherine cuts herself off with another pained noise when Thomas squeezes one of her breasts hard enough to definitely leave bruises. She whimpers and tears finally come free._

_“Please...hurts...”_

_Her conscious wavers for a moment. It’s hard to pull it back, as it was far from her reach. Every inch of her body felt numb and she could only squirm helplessly, with each of her movements being slow with fatigue and fear. She barely registers her body crashing to the ground; her eyes shut tightly upon contact with the cold floor._

_“Oh, you look so beautiful like this...” Cooed Thomas’ slick voice._

_Katherine struggled to force her eyelids apart again and moaned softly, head lolling across the ground. A panic attack is rising in her chest._

_“The noises you make are almost as cute as...”_

_For a moment, all her senses were wiped out before coming together again. Colors and light bled together like wet paint on a canvas. She didn’t hear what Thomas had said, but it only took a little common sense to put two and two together._

_“T...T...” She tried to speak, but her voice drowns out as her head falls to the ground again. “S..sto...” She can’t get any coherent words out of her damn mouth._

_“What’s wrong, my dear Katherine? Cat got your tongue?” Thomas croons._

_A momentary headache throbs through Katherine’s entire skull, making her moan softly in pain. She writhes, kicking out her legs weakly at something that wasn’t there. Thomas notices and chuckles._

_“You look so adorable like this.” He said while approaching her, “Like a little baby deer.”_

_He crouches down, running his fingers over Katherine’s clammy cheeks. The tears burn like lava etching trails down her face._

_“Moments like these need to be savored.”_

_“G...go t...to h...”_

_“Aww, can’t even finish your threat.” Thomas chuckles and shook his head. “Now, stop wiggling around. I want to make sure your focus is on me. It’s the only way I can make sure you have a good time.”_

_Katherine eyed him wryly for a moment before doing the exact opposite of what he said, thrashing as much as she could. She tried to scream, but the sound that came out was completely noiseless. A boot drives into her stomach, making her wheeze and then sprawl out limply._

_“What did I just say?” Thomas said through his teeth before loosening himself up. “Though, I can’t expect you to get it just yet. After all, it’s your fault we’re in this mess. Katherine, I don’t want to hurt you. I just need you. Why won’t you just let me have you?”_

_Katherine is in that half state of unconsciousness again. She’s whimpering and squirming around like a hurt puppy, staring up at Thomas with big amber eyes that only fueled his bloodlust even more._

_“My adorable, beautiful little Katherine.” He purred._

_Bands of hot iron compress Katherine’s lungs to a point of bursting. The panic attack rises to the surface and she gasps desperately for air, trying to crawl away from Thomas. Another headache from the anxiety and lack of oxygen lances into her skull like a spear and her eyes are rolling around her in their sockets._

_“Now, let’s-“ Thomas grunts when Katherine manages to kick him in the leg. It doesn’t hurt, but he still glares evilly at her. “You don’t ever learn, do you, bitch?”_

_Katherine scowls at her ‘friend.’_

_“But you are such a little fighter, aren’t you? Here you are, crying on the floor, and yet you still try to get away. That’s what I love about you. You’re not like other girls in this blasted castle.”_

_Thomas is turned away, but he’s moving his hands around a lot. Katherine doesn’t want to know what he could be fiddling with so she began to search around the small room desperately. She ends up finding a vase and hurls it at Thomas’ head. It misses her intended target, but instead shatters against his shoulder, which she takes._

_“You cunt!” He shrieked, reaching back to see if he had gotten hurt. “Do you know what you could have done you dumb whore?!”_

_Katherine felt a swell of pride, but that quickly went away when Thomas kneels down in between her legs. He starts to rub her thighs, snaking his hands further up into her dress. She desperately wants to scream, but, even if she had the air to do so, she couldn’t. She knew the consequences of being caught like this. The King wouldn’t see this as rape, he’d see this as something consensual. He would believe she wanted it._

_“Dear, look at me while I touch you. That’s just common decency don't you think?"_

_Katherine refuses to open her eyes. Thomas pulls her hair._

_“Don't be rude."_

_She can feel more tears coming. She’s shaking her head, whimpering and wheezing as her need for air gets more and more painful._

_“N-No..!”_

_She can't hide the fact that she’s having a panic attack. Her voice is crackling and she sounds snotty. She wants this to stop right now. She tries to ease away, but he's firmly holding her in place. She keeps muttering “no” over and over again, trying to drown out his voice._

_Thomas leans over her more, restraining her with his body weight._

_"I said," White got pain sears through Katherine’s groin, causing her to howl, "Look at me while I touch you,_ dear _."_

_His voice is laced with so much venom and sarcasm. Katherine chokes out a sob and has to stop herself from full on wailing because she knows the consequences of being caught. Thomas lets out a disapproving huff and stands up. For a moment, Katherine thinks her prayers have been answered, but then she remembered God had left her years ago._

_A boot crunches beneath her chin and stars explode across her vision._

_Thomas kneels again, practically dropping his full weight on her hips. He claws open the front of her dress so he could get a good view of her breasts. Katherine tensed up when she heard a zipper unzip._

_“W-wait...!” Terror formed in her eyes.  
Thomas actually stopped to look at her before smirked. He moves backwards a little and lines up._

_“Just try to breathe, my love.”_

_Katherine can’t breathe. Blood and saliva filled her mouth, frothing over her chin. She’s drooling all over herself._

_“No, no...! No...! Please no...!”_

_She’s dry, and the friction between her legs burned so intensely it made her see stars. Within moments of only a few thrusts, she already feels raw. The stinging only increases._

_All at once, she feels everything- the pain in between her legs, Thomas’ fingernails hooking in her hips, the hand that raised up to fondle one of her breasts, the blazing heat that blooms in her stomach. Then, she feels nothing at all._


	4. Genophobia

Katherine didn’t sleep. It’s been five days without proper rest and she feels absolutely miserable, but she refuses to let herself drift off. She’s terrified of the dreams that await her and the feeling that someone might get her if she kept her eyes closed for too long.

Katherine was deteriorating and everyone could see it.

Still, she forced herself to act normal, forced herself to stamp down the anxiety and fear and trauma, forced herself to not run to one of the other queens when she had a panic attack. Her chest hurt so badly from suppressing the sobs, but she didn’t know how to release all those pent up emotions without notifying one of the others. She had already ruined their week enough, they didn’t need to deal with her again.

That was her plan, until she accidentally slipped off into sleep.

———

Cleves is woken up by a fit of horrifying screaming.

She leaps out of bed in an instant and runs upstairs, skipping two steps at a time. All the other queens are already awake, hovering outside of Katherine’s bedroom. Anne forces her way through the small crowd to get to her cousin.  
Katherine isn’t awake. She’s still asleep, thrashing wildly and yelling. After attempting to shake her awake, Anne doesn’t know what else to do besides straddle the teenager’s waist and pin her arms down. That stops her from clawing, which is a good start.

“Wake up!” Anne yelled, “Wake up, Katherine! It’s just a dream!”

Katherine makes no sign of hearing or understanding. The trenches she had managed to scratch in her arms are starting to bleed from exertion and Cleves notices Parr run to the bathroom to probably grab some rags and antiseptic. Jane enters the room to try and aid Anne, who is nearly being thrown off.

This situation is bad. Something has rooted itself into Katherine. The trauma has deteriorated her psyche and it’s causing this fever dream.

No one has nightmares like this, on normal occasions, that is. Katherine movements are too violent, too fluid. She’s screaming like she’s living an endless cycle of torture. Her struggling nearly shakes Anne off. Did she get super strength in her sleep or something, because she didn’t look this strong when she was awake.

“Katherine, come on!” Anne tried again, “Wake up!”

Nothing.

For a moment, Katherine’s eyelids flutter open, but her eyes are turned upwards. She’s still trapped in her night terror.

“Katherine- shit! Wake. _UP!_ ”

The teenager bolted awake, sitting up as straight as she can go. It takes her a moment to register everything, like the fact that she has just been slapped. Anne scrambled off of her before she could think she was trying to defile she.

“Annie...?” She croaked and her throat is insanely dry.

“Oh thank god,” Anne sighed in relief, “Bad night, huh? You weren’t waking up.”

What worried Anne and everyone else the most wasn’t the intensity of the nightmare. It’s that the queens worked so hard to make sure the youngest was okay during the day and now they’re finding out how easily she can rip herself to pieces in her sleep. Anne wonders what exactly prompted Katherine to claw herself this badly.

She looked up from the scratches in pale skin and saw the glimmer in Katherine’s eyes. The smaller girl turned away shamefully and hid herself in the blankets.

“Oh god, I’m-“ She panted heavily, struggling to get air into her lungs. “I’m so sorry. I just thought-“

She coughed and then stopped talking. Anne lifted her cousin’s head into her lap, gently stroking her hair. Jane takes one of her hands.

“You thought what?” Cleves pressed.

“I see them everywhere.” Katherine forced out, “All of them. Mannox, Dereham, Culpeper- They never leave. They’re everywhere.”

Her eyes screw shut and she broke down into a weak sobs. Her chest starts to ache again, which makes her struggle to breathe even more. Anne tightens her embrace.

“Breathe, Kitty,” Anne murmured.

“Breathe?” Katherine snapped, “How do you expect me to breathe when they’re here? When they’re alive? Do you know what that’s like?! I feel like they’re going to- they’re going to get me again.”

Her anger was smothered instantly after those last few words left her mouth. She turtles, shaking violently.

Anne pulled Katherine closer to her, rubbing her hand up and down her cousin’s back. Katherine knew none of them would believe her, so she swallowed her panic, despite how painful it was and tried to calm down.

“I’m sorry- for freaking out.” She whispered hoarsely as her lungs strain and scream.

“Don’t be sorry, sweetheart,” Jane tells her.

“Want me to sleep with you tonight?” Anne asked and Katherine nodded quickly.

The other queens dispersed slowly, with Anne staying with Katherine. The night continues and the youngest doesn’t dare let her eyes close for too long.

Then, there was a knock on her window.  
Mannox pulls himself into view and smiled. Katherine scowls.

 _“Oh don’t give me that,”_ Mannox said cooly, _“I just want to talk.”_

“That’s what you said those other times.” Katherine spits.

_“Good, you were paying attention.”_

Mannox tried to open the window, but frowned when he realized it was locked. He raised his head to make eye contact and saw Katherine trembling from her spot in the bed.

_“When will you let me in?”_

“You can’t be serious,” Katherine said. “Never.”

Mannox just shrugged.

_“I knew you would probably refuse. You’re modest like that.”_

Katherine growled deep in her throat. With a burst of confidence, she hauled herself out of her bed and marched up to the window. Her fist connects with the glass and a smile spread on Mannox’s face.

 _“It’s cute how you think you can do anything to me.”_ He said. _“Open the window and see what happens, my darling.”_

Katherine bared her teeth at him like she was a caged lioness. She took one step back, but kept a clenched fist pressed up against the window.

 _“You‘re about as intimidating as a baby goat trying to ram someone.”_ Mannox chuckled.

“ _Leave. Me. Alone._ ” Katherine said with as much force as possible.

_“Has your begging ever stopped me before?”_

Mannox smirked at how pale Katherine got.

_“Now, open the window, darling. I rather not talk to you with a sheet of glass dividing us.”_

For a moment, Katherine actually found herself reaching for the lock. Maybe it was because of how badly she wanted this misery to end.

But wouldn’t it only increase if she let Mannox get her?

 _“There you go,”_ Mannox cooed, _“I can’t wait to hold you again, my darling.”_

Katherine yanked her hand away.

“No!” She growled, “No, I’m not letting you in!”

Mannox narrowed his eyes and then sighed.

 _“So stubborn,”_ He said, _“It’s a simple request.”_

“Why does there need to be a ‘request’? Why can’t you just leave me alone?” Katherine yelled at the glass, “I’m so...tired of you! Every minute of every day, you’re here! You’re tormenting me! Just leave me the hell alone!”

Her knees buckle and she crumpled to the floor. Angrily, she smashed her fists into the carpet over and over again, gurgling on her words as her fury builds. Her rage quickly turns to pain and sorrow.

  
Mannox just watches with surprising patience. There’s an amused look on her face.

 _“You really shouldn’t do that,”_ He said.

“F- _uck_ you!” Katherine spats, her words broken apart by gasps and sobs, “I h- _ate_ you! I hate you so fu- _cking_ much!”

 _“You’ve said all of this before, Katherine.”_ Mannox chided.

“Kitty?”

Katherine froze. She heard Mannox chuckle.

“Kitty?”

She looked over her shoulder slowly, at Anne, who is sitting up in the bed. Then, she looked back up at Mannox, who is propped against the glass on the windowsill. He looked thoroughly amused.

_“Go to her, darling. You know you want to.”_

Katherine does as he says, throwing herself back into the bed and into Anne’s arms. Anne doesn’t press or ask questions, just held her gently until morning came. By then, though, the emerald queen had fallen back asleep.

“Kitty?” Anne yawned.

Katherine’s eyes blink up at her. Her face is very grey and she looks exhausted.

“Did you sleep at all?” Anne asked, gently cupping one of her cheeks.

Katherine shook her head wordlessly.

“Oh, Kitty...”

It didn’t matter. Katherine was used to not getting any rest. Anne, on the other hand, was still a little worried when she hauled herself out of bed.

“Take it easy,” Anne said, steadying her when she wobbled, “Why don’t you go take a shower, yeah? Maybe that’ll make you feel a little better.”

Katherine nodded again, saying nothing.

“I’m worried about Kat.” Was the first thing Anne said when she got downstairs.

All the queens agreed. That’s when Parr perked up and ran upstairs, eventually coming back down with a bottle of pills.

“I got us covered.” She grinned.

“When’d you buy those?” Aragon asked, slightly concerned for her goddaughter.

“Yesterday. Not for me. For Katherine.” Parr explained, “These things will knock her out. She’ll definitely get some sleep if she takes these.”

“At this point, I’m willing to try anything to get her to sleep.” Cleves said.

The queens trusted Parr with the pills, but the only problem was getting Katherine to take them, which wasn’t easy. She had refused, saying that she was perfectly fine and dropped it at that.

Naturally, the other five had no other choice. They slipped a few of the pills into the teenager’s drink during dinner.  
Jane was the first to notice the medicine starting to take effect. Katherine was blinking rapidly when she was trying to eat, fumbling with her fork, which she was having a hard time holding. When Anne and Cleves notice, it takes everything in them to not burst out laughing.

“Are you okay there, Katherine?” Aragon speaks up, making the girl jump a little. Her cheeks turn red.

“Y-yes,” Katherine stammers, clenching her fingers around her fork. She completely misses the green beans she stabbed at and nearly flipped her entire plate when she roughly jabbed the edge. “You know what? I think I’ve had enough.”

She went to stand up, only to stumble and grab desperately for her chair. Her knees wobble treacherously and she carefully regained her balance before putting her plate into the sink.

The other queens end up joining her on the couch to watch a movie after they also finish dinner. Katherine can barely remember what they decided to put on, because mind fogged and darkness soon embraced her.

“Oh my god,” Jane mutters, looking down at the girl leaning against her, “She’s sleeping.”

“I told you the pills would work,” Parr smiled widely.

“It wasn’t the nicest way to get her to take them, but they did the trick.” Aragon said. “We’ll have to try and convince her again tomorrow or else we’ll be basically drugging her drinks until whatever-this-is passes.”

The others nod in agreement.

Katherine isn’t brought up to her bedroom until the movie is over. The others wanted to just keep an eye on her, make sure she didn’t start to have a nightmare.

And she didn’t.

Katherine slept better than she has in weeks.

Of course, when she woke up, though, she was a little angry. But when Parr assured her the medications were also dream-repellents, she started to come around.  
Katherine actually began to her better.

Two weeks passed and she hasn’t hallucinated at all. No nightmares or panic attacks or knocks at her window. Nothing.

One thing Katherine had gotten used to was one of the queens (mainly Anne or Jane) checking up on her at sometime of the night. Usually because they had woken up to go to bathroom or get some water, so she wasn’t surprised when her bedroom door creaked open.

It was late and Katherine was barley awake, so she didn’t bother saying anything to whoever was coming in to make sure she was doing okay. She would have to thank them in the morning.

Katherine rolled over onto her other side as the blankets shifted and mattress dipped slightly. Confused and a little agitated, the girl raised her head to ask what they were doing, when she froze.  
It wasn’t one of the queens.

Mannox is much older than he is in the hallucinations. He had to be in his late forties-early fifties. His hand is so cold when he covers Katherine’s mouth.

“Hello, my darling.” He whispers. He was so close to her ear his tongue flicked out onto the soft cartilage.

Katherine squeals softly, but is silenced when Mannox reached up under her shirt and roughly grabbed one of her breasts. His nails dig in deep, twisting and tugging. The pain is too real- too familiar.

“I’ve been waiting so long for this, Katherine.” Mannox tells her, tightening his grip. “You don’t know how badly I need you.”

He leans forward and nips at the scar around Katherine’s neck. He knew it was tender, which was exactly why he decided to grind his teeth down on the marked flesh.

Katherine is fighting more than she did every other time he touched her in their past life. Her hands are pulling at his hair, slapping frantically, but she doesn’t dare make a noise. That deep-rooted instinct and fear of getting caught and punished for something that wasn’t even her fault remained and Mannox uses that to his advantage.

It all happens so fast for Katherine. First she feels cold air on her exposed groin and then a hot, familiar pain in her lower stomach that made black spots burst across her vision. A scream is trapped in her throat and she can’t breathe for a moment.

To put it delicately, it felt like Mannox’s penis was barbed and quilled because each thrust felt like it was tearing Katherine’s walls open. The constant friction burns like fire and rubs her raw. A warm, sticky liquid starts to trickle down between her legs.

Katherine can’t fight him. It only takes a few rough thrusts to break her. Trauma smothers her senses and she’s practically unconscious beneath Mannox.

But she was wide awake. She could feel everything.

A large hand reaches out to lift her head and she’s forced to make eye contact. Fingers caress her cheeks and wipe away her tears, but she doesn’t stop crying, nor does she feel comforted. The pain worsens.

Katherine feels like she was going to die. Would Mannox kill her when he was finished with her? Would he ever finish? Would he just do this to her forever, making up for hundreds of years? But if he did stop, what if he targeted the others? What if he went after the other queens?

Katherine whimpered, curling her toes as the pain spikes. She grips the bedsheets tightly and she breathes heavily. With her wheezing and blood roaring in her ears, she didn’t hear the footsteps padding outside.

Anne opened the door to check on her little cousin and froze. Mannox halted inside of Katherine. All was still.

Then, Anne switched on the lights. Mannox didn’t disappear. Mannox was real and alive and he had the audacity to touch Anne Boleyn’s baby cousin.

Now he was going to pay.


	5. Run For Your Life

Anne launched herself at Mannox with enough force to knock him off of the bed. They landed hard on the ground, and Anne heard Katherine cry out in pain from being exited so forcefully, which only fueled her fury. Raising her hand, she connected her fist against Mannox’s nose with a sickening _CRACK_.

It wasn’t long until the other queens all came rushing in because of the commotion. The scene set or before them was shocking- Anne screaming profanities while beating the hell out of a half naked man and Katherine on the bed, also partially undressed, shivering and crying with blood dripping down between her legs. It doesn’t take long for them to realize what was going on.

Cleves and Aragon lunged forward to help Anne, while Parr called the police and Jane went to soothe Katherine.

Katherine jerked away and whimpered when Jane approached. Her chest is heaving, rising and falling rapidly in her attempt to get air through her panic attack. She flinched violently when a warm hand touches her shoulder, unable to recognize it wasn’t one of her abusers. She mewled pathetically again.

“I’m not going to hurt you, l-“

Jane’s sentence was cut off by Anne.

“ **I'LL KILL YOU!** " The green queen roared, "You are **DEAD** Mannox! I will **KILL** you! That's my little cousin you were messing with, and you crossed the line there you pedophile bastard _freak_! **_YOU CROSSED THE LINE!!_** "

All of the queens went rigid when they realized just who was in this room. Jane is quick to scoop Katherine up into her arms, cradling her gently in her lap. She pulls up a blanket to cover the girl’s exposed, bloodied groin.

Katherine struggled for a moment, but the pain halts her and she could only sink her nails into Jane’s arms. She stares fearfully up at the elder queen, cowering and shivering, truly believing even her mother figure was going to touch her like Mannox did. She whimpered when some hair was brushed out from her face.

“Katherine? Katherine, sweetheart, it’s Jane. You’re okay, now. It’s over, I promise. You’re going to be okay.”

Katherine blinked away black spots and gasped for air, barely easing the burning in her lungs. She tightens her grip on Jane’s arms until her nails start to chip.

“H-hurts...!” She cried, “Jane, i-it hurts!”

Her legs squeeze together and curled up close to her stomach. She squirms a little, like she was trying to wriggle right out of her skin. Her chest aches, but this time from the bruises forming on her breasts.

Jane holds her closer, tighter, not caring about the sting in her forearms. That pain couldn’t even begin to rival what the youngest queen was probably feeling at that very moment.

Katherine doesn’t calm down, but at least she eases more into the embrace. She buried her face against Jane’s chest, desperately trying to listen to her heartbeat but the roaring in her ears overtakes the sound. She sobbed harder.

“The ambulance is on its way,” Parr said, peeking back into the room.

Aragon and Cleves are hovering around the fray on the floor, unable to jump in without getting caught in the crossfire. Anne wasn’t letting them have an opening to even get a few kicks in; she was handling this on her own and she was doing a good job. Mannox’s face was a bloodied mess, and his neck and chest were a labyrinth of scratches.

Aragon was the first to realize she wanted going to her a turn to pummel the pedophile, so she decided to make herself useful by helping Jane. Cleves stayed by Anne, making sure she wouldn’t get hurt, just in case.

“Oh, Katherine...” Aragon murmured. Her eyes kept darting to the blood stained on the sheets. The anger within her bubbled higher and she considered turning back around and pouncing on Mannox, risking Anne getting hit in the process. She thought against it, though.

Katherine doesn’t react to the first queen’s presence. She’s slipped off into shock and is now barely responsive. Numbness takes over her body like a wildfire.

Her lungs contract and she sobs into Jane’s chest.

The feeling of fingers fluttering between her legs gets worse. She can feel them inside of her, stretching and thrusting and scraping. Nails curl into her walls and scratch down, ripping open holes within her.

“Katherine,” Jane says when she notices the girl’s breathing pick up, “Katherine, honey, focus on me. Nothing else, okay? Eyes on me, darling.”

Katherine doesn’t hear her at first, but her eyes eventually dart up to the elder queen. The gaze she’s met with is loving and caring. She pries her fingernails free and extends a hand, which is squeezed gently.

“J-Jane?” She croaked, wincing when the pain flared again. Her legs pressed tighter together.

“That’s right, honey. It’s me. Jane. I’m not going to hurt you.” Jane assured her.

“It hurts,” Katherine whispered hoarsely.

Aragon extends a slow hand and strokes the back of the girl’s hair, which she jumped a little at, but allowed. Glassy, glazed amber eyes glance over at the Spanish queen, staring for a moment before looking up at nothing in particular. Katherine’s mouth starts to move, but the mumbles are incoherent and slurred.

“Hang in there, darling,” Aragon murmured, kneeling down beside the bed, “The ambulance will be here soon. You’re going to be okay. Mannox is never going to hurt you again.”

Upon hearing that bastard’s name, Katherine shivers hard. She tucks her arms over her chest and coughed, curling up closer to Jane.

“Breathe, honey,” Jane reminded her, “Bre-“

A sharp yelp suddenly rang out through the room.

Mannox somehow had found the strength to flip Anne over and is now pinning her. She’s bleeding from her nose. He raises his fist to deliver another blow when Cleves barrels into him full force.

The man and queen hit the wall and tussel like two angry cats for a moment before Cleves grabs Mannox by the hair and smashes his face down onto the floor. There’s a horrible _CRUNCH_ upon impact.

Panic for her now-injured cousin bubbles in Katherine’s stomach. With that comes overwhelming nausea she had been trying to stamp down, and the sound of bones shattering doesn’t help.

“Jane," Katherine drawls out languidly, but it sounds more like a muffled groan.

Jane’s hand is on her forehead and she's rubbing her back with the other, but she’s saying something to Cleves and is looking at Anne. Her words are coming out strung together. Katherine can't hear her well enough to discern what she's saying; she can only see her mouth moving through her blurry vision. Her senses start to shut down all of a sudden.

“Jane,” Katherine coughs out, feeling dizzy again. She can't move as bile rises up once more.

She somehow managed to tug weakly at Jane’s sleeve to draw her attention. The third queen is saying something louder now as she watches Katherine break into a horrid cough. The young girl’s body shakes harder and she feels vision cut out on her faster. Everything is growing dark as she fidgets and thrashed in the arms that held her, the electrifying agony surging through her veins like liquid fire.

Before she knows it, vomit curls up in the back of Katherine’s mouth and she chokes violently, unable to breathe as she can't find the strength to puke it out. The acid trickles back down her throat, leaving a burning trail down her esophagus. She can hear Jane yelling as her body continually grows limp.

Katherine barely feels Aragon shove her onto the side of the bed and reach into her mouth to scoop out the liquid.

“Katherine!” She heard Anne screaming, now, too, somewhere in the distance, "Katherine, holy shit, just stay awake!"

Katherine gags harder and a line of vomit splatters from her lips. Through her blurry vision, she can see the mess on her bedroom floor and cringes. She immediately wants to apologize, but she can’t speak.

The last thing she hears is sirens before everything cuts to blackness.

———

Mannox dies a few hours after getting to the hospital. “Complications”, the doctors said. The damage Anne had done to him was pretty serious.

Katherine, on the other hand, didn’t die, obviously, but she wished she did. Laying in that hospital bed, feeling the nurses clean the blood from between her legs made her want to throw up all over again. It took everything in her not to kick one of them in the nose because it wasn’t their hands she was feeling. It was Mannox’s, it was Francis’, it was Thomas’- it was all of them touching her.

It wasn’t just that, though. It was the sight of the rape kit, the emergency birth control, the treatment for STDs, the order to check back in for a pregnancy check- all of it made Katherine want to drop dead and be rid of all this pain.

What’s worse- she was making her family suffer. She remembered being half-awake in the hospital bed, feeling someone rubbing her knuckles with their thumb and hearing someone else crying softly while being soothed by another queen. The weight she has placed on their shoulders is crushing them with overwhelming worry and her with intense guilt, and she wants nothing more than to remove the burdens she has etched into each of them.

After being released from the hospital, Katherine recovers. Physically, yes, but psychologically? Never.

The nightmares don’t stop. In fact, they get worse. They come every single night and have started to bleed into reality because she constantly sees the faces of one of her abusers just out of the corner of her eye. They’re everywhere.

Therapy’s just beginning- better therapy, Jane says- but Katherine is still having nightmares of his naked body, his disheveled hair, and fingers inside her. Sometimes she dreams of monsters on top of her, pinning her down, licking her, knotting her, smashing their mouths against hers, clawing and groping and grasping. 

And when those dreams come in enough, she starts to question her very self. Her choices in love, too. Her decision in fighting back because maybe she should have just given in. Maybe she should have consented. Wasn’t her body made to breed? Wasn’t her only purpose in this godforsaken world to pleasure others, to be a personal plaything?

Katherine had too much experience with straight white men who resented that she ‘played for the other team’ to know exactly what he was capable of. Had too many of them see her asexuality and aromanticness as nothing but a denial of their sexual access to her. A denial of their rights.

They’d tell her that she’d like it if she tried it. That she only thought she was ace or aro because she hasn’t fucked them yet. That she hasn’t been given enough of a good time just yet.

And with that, the drooling sex beasts within her mind reared their ugly heads and manifested in the dreams.

Too hot breath on her neck, arms pinning her to a wall, while they murmured, _“You’re too pretty to be asexual, you know. What a waste.”_

Hands up her shirt while they said, _“It’s okay baby, I can change your mind.”_

Beer bottles hurled across the street while they growled, _“Hey, bring your little ass back over here, I’ll fuck you straight.”_

And God willing, when Katherine wakes in the night, shaking and shivering and trying not to scream, they seem so close. 

She can feel it too. Fingers forcing their way in. Tongues lapping her breasts. Teeth tugging her ear.

And it burned, burned, burned...

The worst nights, though, the worst nights were when They made an appearance. Mannox, Francis, and Thomas.

Mannox would be moaning and groaning, broken bones shifting and cracking beneath his skin while he pumped and thrusted. He’s bloody and beaten and bruised, somehow still alive even though Anne had pummeled him into a pulp- even though the doctors and police specifically said he had died. Francis would be filling her up with his rot and Thomas was usually grooming her while he ripped her apart from the inside out.

But when they were all there in one dream? When they were all pounding mercilessly into her until it felt like all her organs were punctured? The fear was unimaginable.

To say the least, Katherine was not doing good.

She avoided sleeping, telling the other queens she was taking the pills she had been prescribed. Whenever she did fall asleep (usually because she blacks out from exhaustion) she taught herself to not wake up screaming. She stayed quiet and suffered in silence.

Not only that, she stopped eating, too. Katherine always felt nauseous and just the thought of food repulsed her. Every time she put food into her mouth, the phantom pain of fingers in her vagina would come back and she would feel sick all over again.

The queens always let her know they were there for her, and she appreciated it, she really did, but sometimes sympathy gets exhausting, you know? It was a war raging within Katherine’s mind- she wanted comfort but she didn’t want to burden her family anymore than she already was. So, she didn’t ask for help, she didn’t ask for hugs, she didn’t ask for reassurances or a place to sleep after nightmares or a hand to hold. She self-soothed with the breathing exercises she was learning in therapy, but they only work on occasions. Most of the time she just bottled up the pain and misery and anguish until it felt like her chest would burst.

The breaking point was near.

Anne was the one who found out she wasn’t taking her medications. And, being the ever-loving and concerned older cousin she was she let everyone else know. In the middle of dinner. Where everyone could stare at her.

And they did.

“It doesn’t matter,” She forces out when Anne asked for the reason why she wasn’t taking the medicine. “I’m never going to get better, anyway...”

All of the queens exchange worried looks upon hearing that. The pain and despair and vulnerability in the youngest has built up so high- she was drowning in it. The teenager chokes hard.

“I’m never going to sleep without nightmares. I’m never going to forget about what happened to me. I’ll never feel safe again, unless it’s in my own delusions. For the rest of my life I will be fighting against the temptation of my own insanity. And for what? I don't know. It's important to keep going, but I'm never going to get b-better..."

Her voice is tight with emotion and pain. Everything is a whirlwind of muddled feelings and suffering. Blood starts to roar in her ears.

“I don’t _work right_ anymore. I don’t know how to be happy. Sometimes I’m happy- when I’m singing- but every other time I’m just- _miserable_.” A quivering inhale, “I try. I really do, but nothing works. All my therapist does is dope me up on antidepressants until I can’t feel anymore, which is nice at first, but then it becomes painful. The numbness, I mean. But I can’t- I can’t enjoy _anything anymore._ ”

The girl weeps. Her fists clench and she carved bloody half-moons into her palms. She wanted to rip open her scarred throat, she wanted to tear out her hair, she wanted to _set herself ablaze_ because the pain was the only thing that made her feel again. The pain was the only true way to cope.

“I wish it never happened.” She grits out, like there’s sand lodged in her throat, “I wish it hadn’t been _me_. I know that’s selfish, but I just-“

She breaks down at the dinner table. She trembles violently, clenching her fists around the edge of the tabletop until her knuckles turn white. Jane tried to move to aid Katherine, but the girl flinched backwards.

What was this? What has this all become? A paradox? A cycle of madness that left Katherine questioning her family? A wormhole that constantly repeats her meltdowns? A liberation from madness, or an episode? Was this desperately breaking free of something that was going to lull her into mindlessness, or was this a foolish denial of her only possible anchor?

Was this hell?

Fear ached in Katherine’s stomach. Nameless fear. Unexplained fear. Overwhelming fear. She had to run. She had to get out of the room. She had to get out of the house, away from this, away from these people, away from this insanity, she needed space to breathe, she needed air, she needed the pain, she needed-

Aragon is saying something, but Katherine doesn’t hear- a problem she’s been having lately; her ears tuning out everything and anything that might give her even a little bit of comfort. _She doesn’t need to hear it,_ her mind tells her, _she doesn’t deserve it._ But now they’re all talking, all soothing her, and she wants to hear it so badly. She wants it, she wants it, she wants it, she wants-

Katherine shoots to her feet. She sprints up to her room and locks the door, despite the pleading voices begging her to come back. She collapses against the wall, hugging her knees and sobbing uncontrollably. The pain worsens and she can only wallow in it.

And then, a knock.

“Katherine?”

Jane’s voice, so soothing and warm and caring, cuts through the roaring and screeching.

“Katherine, honey, you don’t have to open up, but I want you to listen to me, okay?” She says, “I’m not going to act like I know what you’re going through, because I absolutely don’t, but I just want you to know that I’m always going to be here for you. No matter what. No matter what happens or what you say, I’ll always be here for you, sweetheart. All of us.”

Katherine whimpers, smothering her face against the floor.

“I love you, Katherine.”

A chime of voices, the other queens, repeated the phrase as well.

For a moment, Katherine didn’t reply.

And then, in a weak, shaky voice.

“I love you, too...”

———

Forcing herself to perform a day later was...exhausting. The nausea and phantom pain infected Katherine’s body throughout every song and every dance, threatening to bring her down to her knees. And, at times, she almost succumbed, almost let it destroy her onstage for hundreds of eyes to see.

But she didn’t. Because she had an end goal and she wasn’t going to shatter until it was met.

So, she amped up the stage persona. It was almost startling to the other queens- how happy and bouncy she was being.  
But the minute curtain call came, that act went down fast. Katherine let the painful smile disappear and she stood, not dancing, not taking pictures, just held still. Then, she took a step forward, brushing past Cleves and Jane, and brought her microphone up to her lips.

“Hello, everyone,” She said in a hoarse voice- her real voice that has laced her words for weeks, not the once she used during performances. “This must be weird, huh? You thought the performance was over, right? Well, technically, it is. You can leave if you want. But, uhh...I have something to say.” She fumbled for a moment, almost deciding against the monologue she had been rehearsing. “I haven’t been in a good place lately. Something really bad happened and I felt like death itself. I still do. In fact, standing up here right now? It fucking sucks. I hurt all over.” She laughed gravely. “And, to be honest, I still don’t know if I’ll recover fully. I don’t know if I’ll be okay, but...I have them.” She looks at the other queens, “And they anchor me. And I don’t know where I’d be without them.”

Katherine looks forward again. She takes a deep breath before continuing.

“But...this song I’m about to sing...it’s all the emotions I tried to hide from them. Everything I’ve felt and pushed down over these past few weeks in a desperate attempt to not worry them anymore. And this goes out to all the people who’ve felt the same thing I’m feeling.”

She nods towards the band, who had been noted of this ahead of time. A gentle, but somber melody began to play.

 _“You tell me it gets better, it gets better in time_  
You say I'll pull myself together, pull it together  
You'll be fine”

Katherine’s voice comes out in a tone that’s so much different than the one she uses for the performance. It’s heavy and slow, each word sliding out from her lips carefully and haphazardly.

 _“Tell me what the hell do you know?_  
What do you know?  
Tell me how the hell could you know?  
How could you know?”

Something sparks in her glassy eyes. Anger. Small, but present. The threat of that feeling consuming her whole body always been an unwelcome fury dancing at the back of her mind. And with that would come the worry from others she always felt guilty about. The other queens would fret and fuss in that disguised, motherly way of theirs; she knew that all too well. Better to let them have peace of mind and pretend everything was okay. That’s what she'd tell herself, anyway.

  
 _“'Til it happens to you, you don't know_  
How it feels  
How it feels  
'Til it happens to you, you won't know”

  
Life was inexplicably unfair. Her gaze shifts across the crowd. There are mixed reactions- curiosity, concern, shock, anger, sympathy, even annoyance (mainly from men). Nothing was enough when it came to some of them. No matter how much she went through, some people would just find a way to be agitated by her. It’s not only them, though. The world would not let her rest. All she really wanted at this point was some peace and quiet with her found family. Was that really so much to ask?

  
 _“It won't be real_  
No it won't be real  
Won't know how it feels”

  
Hiding something from someone was so much easier when the other person was held at arm’s length, but now that Katherine actually had real friends, a real family who truly cared, the facade was harder to uphold. She could all too keenly sense her composure cracking. The other queens weren’t idiots, they would have noticed sooner or later if she hadn’t done this song, but, somewhere deep down inside, Katherine was still determined to keep the peace for as long as possible.

  
 _“You tell me hold your head up_  
Hold your head up and be strong  
'Cause when you fall, you gotta get up  
You gotta get up and move on”

  
A few people nod- people who don’t understand. People who think it’s that easy. People who haven’t been through the trauma and pain and grief. Those kinds of people were the worst. Questioned, prodded, accused. It seemed to be a recurring pattern for Katherine. The horror, the judgement, the scorn. Over and over and over again.

  
 _“Tell me, how the hell could you talk?_  
How could you talk?  
'Cause until you walk where I walk  
It's just all talk”

  
The anger builds. This time, it’s more present in her eyes, flashing and glowing like hot embers. Katherine glowers at a few men in particular, ones who gave her googly eyes throughout the whole performance, ones who probably got rock hard the moment she started dancing. Ones who were probably no different than Mannox and Francis and Thomas.

  
 _“'Til it happens to you, you don't know_  
How it feels  
How it feels  
'Til it happens to you, you won't know”

  
Katherine grits her teeth, growling deep in her throat. The pain has turned to anguish and that anguish turns to blazing fury. It’s overflowing from her hands, spilling out of her lips in the form of lyrics of a somber song.

  
 _“It won't be real_  
No it won't be real  
Won't know how I feel”

  
She pauses for a moment after those lasts two words- hesitates. Her mind toils over it. How she feels, how she feels, how she feels. She scoffs and shakes her head, continuing on with the song.

  
_“'Til your world burns and crashes  
'Til you're at the end, the end of your rope”_

  
She clenches her fingers around the microphone, her other hand forming a tighter fist with her fingernails digging deep into her palms. The pain is fresh, but not unfamiliar. Like a whistle was blown, the phantom agony returns. Her knees buckle a little, thighs pressed together in an awkward stance that makes a few people snicker. She stumbled and forced her legs apart to avoid embarrassment.

  
_“'Til you're standing in my shoes, I don't wanna hear nothing from you  
From you, from you, 'cause you don't know”_

  
The words come out sharp, venomous, and wrapped in shards of glass. They are directed towards the men again, the gross ones. Then, she notices a few others. A few people- boys and girls alike- with tears and true pain in their eyes. They understand.

  
_“'Til it happens to you, you don't know...”_

  
Katherine turns around. She drops her microphone to her side, staring up at the ceiling for a few long seconds. Shaky breaths echo throughout the stage. Tears spill free and the young queen chokes for a moment when she’s raising her hand again. The whole theatre hears it.

  
 _“...How I feel_  
How I feel  
How I feel”

  
She faces the people again, face red and eyes puffy. She’s sobbing much harder than she does during All You Wanna Do. There are more than a few tears. The pain is real.

  
 _“Til it happens to you, you won't know_  
It won't be real  
No it won't be real   
Won't know how it feels”

  
Her voice pitches and she howls into the microphone. Her strained, agonized voice reverberates through the theatre, rattling through the audience and other queens alike.

  
 _“'Til it happens to you, happens to you_  
Happens to you  
Happens to you, happens to you  
Happens to you”

  
A melody of sheer trauma and misery boomed and then halted. Katherine screwed her eyes shut as her lips quivered and she forced out the last few notes, not caring about tune.

  
_“Til it happens to you, you won’t know how I feel.”_

  
The minute the last word leaves her mouth, Katherine whirls around and throws herself into her family’s loving arms.

  
———

  
The newest nightmare ends with a blazing pain. Katherine bolts up, breathing heavily and drenched in sweat. The stinging between her legs feels worse than usual. It’s burning, searing, blistering, blazing- ripping her, tearing her, gutting and goring her. It’s bad, it’s bad, oh it’s so bad-

  
_Knock knock knock_

  
Anne peeks into the room, frowning when she saw her baby cousin hugging her knees and rocking herself on the bed. Slowly, she approaches and wraps her arms around Katherine’s shoulder.

  
“Breathe, Kitty-Kat. Breathe. You’re okay. The nightmare is over, it’s okay.”

  
“A-Annie?” Katherine whimpered.

  
“Shh, shh,” Anne cooed, stroking back her messy hair, “It’s me, Kitty. I’m here.”

  
Katherine returns the embrace. Oh how she missed being held like this, being soothed and comforted. But the thing that made her feel a little better? The other queens joining them in the bedroom, creating a warm, tender huddle around Katherine.

  
And, for once, she truly felt safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the song is called Til It Happens To You by Lady Gaga! it’s really good!!
> 
> i hope y’all enjoyed Kitty suffering for five chapters straight :)


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